…a lie by omission…

Originally published at stonerwithaboner on May, 18, 2013

 

…so by now, you’ve probably seen tons of references to Nice Guys ™ around the gendersphere…

…how come you don’t see Nice Girls ™ at nearly the same rate???

…alright, long story short, a guy hangs out around a woman, he helps her out, he listens to her.  He NEVER expresses explicit romantic interest. He winds up in what those reddit guys call The Friendzone…

…now is this guy being manipulative or is he just too shy to escalate, to “make a move”?

…depending on who you ask, you’ll get a different answer…

…some will say it is the woman who is being manipulative when she could sense he was attracted to her, he wanted more than just platonic friendship.  She kept him around because that shoulder to cry on was too good, that unpaid mover was just more utility than a girl could ask for…

…some will say the guy was being manipulative for not clearly expressing his romantic interest. Some will say it is the man’s job to make romantic interest known and anything else is manipulative…

…now let’s go a step further, why, exactly is it the man’s job to escalate?  Is it because he has higher testosterone?  More “privilege”?  More tolerance to pain and thus rejection?

Fuck if I know, I’ve asked and I don’ know if it is cultural-that is society sets things up so that women are less likely to feel pain. Or if it is biological-that is men have, on average, higher libido’s and the hungrier (hornier) one has to do the asking…

Now, I’m gonna take this on another tangent-feminist dating advice

…allot of things that seem to come up are…

…brush your teeth, wash your hair, stop being creepy, bitter, socially awkward…

haha, as far as the first two, yah, good hygiene is good, but uh, I’ve come across some drum circle type ladies that wouldn’t put it that high up on the list…

now creepy-I don’t know who is intentionally creepy except for haunted house actors and actresses…

…as far as bitter-yuppers, anger is offputting, no argument there.  However, how come femmies constantly call angry womyn empowered?  Aren’t they dehumanizing men by telling a guy who may have had many traumatizing experiences to not be angry about it?–to just fucking GET OVER IT MAAAN…  If you’ve ever had the misfortune of visiting the slimepit that is The Good Men Project where a bunch of asshats talk down to real living men and censor their comments maybe you know where this is headed.  The vibe of that place seems to scream your pain isn’t real, so just get in line, shut up and be a good man–be fucking useful, stop whining.  If you can’t take it, go to therapy so you don’t become an abuser, and if you don’t have the funds to pay for therapy well, you need to man up.  And if you can’t do that, just kill yourself but please make it look like an accident, we wouldn’t want to make the greater good (women) uncomfortable when they find the body of someone they assumed was “privileged” offed themselves because their suffering was unbearable.  How dare you upset anyone you filthy, filthy boy…

…now that I got the little rant out of my system-here’s the lie by omission…

The feminist dating advice rarely talks about what it’s like to be an initiator. Shit, you’d be better reading some sales manual about cold calling—-rejection motherfuckers…  That. Shit. Stings.  Now, you can read an article by Clarisse Thorn where she says she didn’t like initiating because she didn’t like getting rejected.  Funny though, and maybe I misunderstood everything I’ve ever read by feminist’s.  They talk about being able to work as “privilege” even though I hate my job.  But by this metric wouldn’t (het cis) women hitting on (het cis) men be one of the most feminist things they could do?  How come they aren’t lining up for that role in droves?  Is it because, while they complain of the “glass ceiling” they don’t clamor for equal representations in the “death professions” where men FAR outnumber women?

Now, I’ll step back for a second.  If your world view is that of say a traditional conservative where men and women have strictly different roles and they are inherently different, it causes you no cognitive dissonance to say “A man should be President and a woman should be a homemaker.  Women shouldn’t be sent to die in defense of the homeland.  That’s a man’s job.”  If that is your worldview, you’d probably laugh off concepts like male disposability and believe that those who take greater risk should have a greater chance at success. You’d probably consider a man who whined about not being able to get a date a weak loser who shouldn’t have the chance to pass on his genes. You’d have no problem with a phrase like Real Man…

Alright, now if you branded your movement as being about “equality” then things wouldn’t be so clear.  You couldn’t just expect one gender to stay stuck in one role while giving infinitely more freedom to another gender.  You’d probably have to go on and on with mental gymnastics about how the gender stuck in the same role was “privileged” even when the evidence was that so many members were not.  You might even try to create a Marxist like dichotomy of oppressor class vs. oppressed class divided along gender lines.  You’d probably have to go through a bunch of mental gymnastics to make your ideas sound like the right ideas.  You’d probably have to shout down anyone who disagreed with the vilest shaming language you could.  You’d probably have to create caricatures of arguments and attack those instead of the actual arguments they made.  That doesn’t sound like anyone we know, now does it?  Import flashing SARCASM button from the fatuous Manboobz bigot….

So why do feminists hate Nice Guys ™ so much???

That’s the million dollar question…

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